Poetry Devotion: Lessons From Elsa

Deep within me- there is
ice, born with it
they say

I know no days without ice-
sharp, and protruding deeper
pangs, cries of anguish
Can't you hear them all?
I whisper to the empty walls
Can't you hear me when the ice
strikes deeper, isolation
remains silent

I thrash at my skin
hating my heart-
its roots thicken-
life shivering
surging for survival
for warmth of any form-
isn't this enough?
Shall I have a heart of
ice, that feels no warm
and knows nothing
of life

Let me begin by saying this; God can use anyone, anything and everything for His glory. Sometimes I can't help but be humored in the many medians He does use to get my attention. All it took this time was a simple, light hearted, animated Disney princess movie, Frozen. (As a side note, I HIGHLY recommend this movie to each and every one of you - it's just that fabulous.) Little did I know entering the theater that God was about to rock my world.
First thing's first, a little background. The movie is about two princess sisters, Elsa and Ana. Elsa was born with a wintery curse that turns everything she touches into ice, and just so happens that she ends up being able to set off an eternal winter. But, that's besides the point. The only thing you need to know is that Elsa hid her curse for much of her life. Her sister, Ana, was kept away from her. Later on, something causes Elsa to publicly reveal her curse out of anger and, like I said, created an eternal winter.

Frightened, Elsa retreats far into the mountains. It is here that Elsa is finally able to come to terms with her curse. Here on this mountain, she is free. She does not have to hide her curse. Elsa retreats, flees from the life she has always known in hiding and comes out in the open with her curse. She is set free from a life of hiding, pretending, and being afraid of herself. Elsa then uses this curse to build a beautiful house on the side of the mountain.

Pause here with me for a moment. You're probably thinking... "This chick is way too obsessed with this Frozen movie. What could it possibly have to do with God?" Well, the first part is more than likely true, but God is displayed in this story. Put yourself in Elsa's shoes. Just like her, you too were born with a cold, sinful curse. It has dictated your life since day one. This curse has caused you to do things that hurt you, ashamed you and hardened your heart even more. Just like Elsa, you've been hiding. You've been hiding your sins deep within your heart and they fester there. Letting the bitterness swell and the regret take root. You look back on things you've done and just like Elsa you feel trapped. Who are you anymore? If you're like me, you've asked yourself that many, many times.

So, you push it deeper. You hide it in your heart; you hide it from those you love; you hide it from everyone. What would they think, right? Right, I understand, ya'll we've all been there more than once. The question reoccurs over in your head that you just don't know where to turn, you don't know what to do. You just don't know where to turn. Well, here's where you turn.....

You turn around. Complete 180 degrees. You turn until your back in on your sin and you just make a run for it. Run as fast as you possibly can because that life cannot and will not have a hold on you any longer. You will not live in fear, you will not live in hiding. You will live in freedom. Freedom that is true in the blood of Jesus, found in the blood of Jesus. Because Jesus died to give you this freedom, in and through Him.

But, to run for freedom, you must run towards Christ. Elsa sings a song when she reaches the mountain top that expresses her freedom. The words of the song are beautiful but the chorus, I feel, is what God is singing to you. He sings, "Let it go, Let it go, Can't hold it back anymore, Let it go, Let it go". He beckons you to let His light shine on your hidden curse so that you can bring it to the surface, and "let it go" into His hands. As Elsa sings this song, she transforms, completing her change. Her gown goes from pretty to extravagant. She radiates with a beauty and confidence she has never experienced. God transforms you and I, He does. He transforms us when we "let it go" into His hands. In Him we are changed not for the better; we are changed for the best. Confidence, freedom... life.


What then? What about what's left over, still harbored inside? Well, in the movie, Elsa is faced with melting all that she had frozen over (an entire country by the way!). Long story short, Elsa learns that only true love can melt what her heart has frozen over. In the same way, only God can heal and melt away the ice crystals in your heart. Only God's love can restore life. God loves the hidden, the broken, the cold and everywhere in-between. And only God can get you out of your eternal winter.

"In Him and through faith in Him we may approach God with freedom and confidence." Ephesians 3:12

(Here's the song if you would like to check it out!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moSFlvxnbgk

Courtesy of YouTube and the official Disney Animation channel.

Devotion: Men of Joseph

Merry Christmas, again! To you again I say, REJOICE!! during this special season of celebrating the birth of Jesus- the "reason for the season".  

Surrounding Jesus during this time were very important people. In the previous post, the Lord revealed that Mary, Jesus's mother, was not someone to skim over in the Christmas story but an example of undoubted faith that we can all learn from. However, the Lord began to put the other side of the nativity on my mind, a persistence I could not ignore. Joseph. 

What about Joseph? Jesus's earthly father. Maybe you're like me and just like I had with Mary, I had never given Joseph much thought. But, the more the Lord revealed, the more I saw just how essential Joseph's story is to the Christmas story as well. 

Side note: Isn't it amazing just how intricately the Christmas story is? How God's fingerprint is uniquely placed on each and every person involved? A personal, intentional God that leaves no detail up to question but continuously works in the lives of His children.

Just thought a little praise and awe should be stuck into the message. After all, He is so, so worthy of praise. 

Apart from looking at Mary, let's take a closer look at Joseph specifically. Here is where I need the manly readers of mine to pay close attention. It is undeniable that Joseph is in fact the perfect example for Christian men and displays how to pursue relationships. My ladies, don't think that you can stop reading here. I encourage you to continue reading so that a man like Joseph will be the desire of you heart and that your "dream guy" will portray these qualities...they're VITAL to a Christ centered relationship. Yes, VITAL. 

Okay, guys, first off don't ignore that Joseph was immediately faced a trial in his relationship with Mary. Mary came to him, soon to be his wife, with the announcement that she was pregnant with Jesus. Talk about a shocker. Joseph knew that he and Mary had never been intimate with each other and was, naturally not very happy with the news. In Matthew 1:20, is states that Joseph made plans to send Mary away quietly because he did not believe her. Joseph was not perfect because just like all Christians and nonChristians alike, he was sinful and doubted. Don't we all? Joseph was no different. 

Soon after while Joseph was sleeping, God sent an angel to Joseph. The angel explains everything to Joseph and he believed. Joseph fixes his eyes on the Lord and his faith is strengthened. Then Joseph and Mary begin their journey together. Joseph dealt with his trials with Mary through faith. Because Joseph saw the angel and listened to the Lord, Joseph and Mary's problems were solved. It is Joseph and Mary's faith that keeps them together despite their trials. This is essential, guys, for you to strive for. To continuously look at the Lord for answers and through trials with whoever you are in a relationship with. 

Mary and Joseph begin to travel towards Bethlehem. Traveling on the donkey, Mary is lead by Joseph. Their journey couldn't have been easy, surely they faced bumps and endured bruises along the way. But, they made it. Don't skip over this part, it's very important. Joseph lead Mary to the place where they would both be with Jesus. All physical aspects aside this is directly an example for all you guys in a relationship, about to be in a relationship, wanting to be in a relationship, where ever you may be in your stance surrounding dating. Just like Joseph lead Mary to the place where Jesus was to be born and they would finally meet him, so also are you called as men of God to lead your future, or present significant other towards Jesus. This was Joseph's role. It is the man leads, it is a man of God who leads with the intention like Joseph. Don't get me wrong, I am not anti feminist. I am a lady that loves her independence, but you best believe, if Joseph strayed, it was Mary who was after Joseph and striving to bring them both back on track.

This should be your foundation and your relationship should mirror this journey. Sure, it won't always be easy and yes, you won't always do it right but by grace, it'll be alright. Constantly point you and your significant other to Jesus in every decision  you make individually and as a couple. Fight your smallest to your toughest battles with and for Jesus and point one another towards Him instead of towards each other. Such a relationship is what God has designed and is in every fashion "Jesus-centered". This kind of dating and pursuit puts love where love should be, a love for Jesus and a pursuit of Him as your focus. Allowing each of you to love Jesus first and let all other things fall into place where He has planned them to go. 

God used Joseph to show men how a man after His own heart and strong faith in Him should strive to lead in a relationship. Ladies, say hello to your new standard. I pray that all of you will prayerfully consider all the lessons God shows us through Joseph. From facing trials to leading a relationship, it was all done with Jesus, for Jesus and by Jesus. And, that my friends, is a Christmas lesson you can't ignore. 

Devotion: Faith like Mary

Read: Matthew 1:18-25

Merry Christmas, dear reader. Tis' the season for Christmas cheer and reminders that Jesus came to save us all from our own sinful hearts. A time to REJOICE!!

Baby Jesus, perhaps less the "celebrity" of Christmas than He was in the previous years. But, there's much more to His story than just, well, Him. Let's not forget the very woman who brought Him into the world, Jesus's mother, Mary. 

This Christmas season, so far, has left me continuously thinking about Mary. Of course I'm not trying to take the focus of Christmas off of Jesus in anyway, I'm merely inviting you to journey with me in your minds. Think about Mary. 

Many scholars believe that Mary was in her early teenage years when God conceived Jesus into Mary through the Holy Spirit. Can you imagine? Mary was largely a child herself, and the Lord chose her to carry His only Son...The Savior, the one that paid so preciously for our sins, each and every one of them, on the cross around thirty years later. It was Mary! The average, teenage girl. 

Through Mary, God showing you and I something that is so valuable. The Lord chose Mary not because of her age, looks, or fitting qualities she had. He chose Mary because of her FAITH. He knew that Mary alone wasn't fit for the task. Who would be fit for such a task? No one. But God knew that Mary would take on the armor of God. God knew that Mary would allow Faith alone to equip her and that God would be faithful to her in taking on this task. 

What faith Mary had to risk shame, trials, comfort and so much more because she was willing to do whatever God had asked her to do. 

It wasn't just emotionally that Mary was devoted to God and His plan for her. Let's not forget that Mary was pregnant with Jesus just like any other woman. The nine months was just as uncomfortable, if not worse, back then than it is today. Jesus grew inside of Mary. To think practically, she probably gained weight, grew out of her robes and had to buy new ones, she may have experienced morning sickness and she had baby Jesus through natural child birth...no pain killers! Mary's faith was so strong and she was so willing to do the will of God that she gave up her body to God's service, too. 

Mary was amazing, am I right? But, it's more than just respect, readers. Mary is more than a good story and a pretty face in the nativity scenes. She is an example for us all. Mary gave all she had to the service of God, even her body. Her doubt was overcome by faith. God chose Mary, just like He chooses you to overcome trials, discomfort, whatever it may be for doing what God has called you to do. 

We have all been there. We get persisting thoughts about plans or actions to take, we prayerfully consider which way to go, we talk to friends who know just what to say and we are sure that God is speaking right through them guiding you. Readers, He is. But, then there is that reservation, the excuse. "Well, I'm afraid of..." or "I'm not good at..." or "I'll do it later..." or "God can't use someone like me..." 

Fight back on the false thoughts with faith. Look at Mary, friends! She was an average teenager and she carried the Messiah in her womb! God quipped Mary through her faith and the Holy Spirit living inside of you. God will not call you for His service and leave you to fend for yourself. He is working, strengthening, and seeing you through to the next call. 

Sure, it may be outside of your comfort zone, sure it may seem impossible or scary, but so is sending your son to Earth. More than that, sending your son to Earth and knowing the suffering he will undergo, all for the sake that you may live- live your life for Christ. Free from the bondage of slavery and  made a servant to Christ so that others may know life. If God has done this for you...how can you stay sedentary. 

You have nothing to give but your plans. God blessed Mary with a son whom she loved and nurtured; He will surely bless you also if you would endure by faith and take on the faith of Mary. Live out your faith in fearless reverence and service to your Savior.

Just imagine what a body of believers were capable of doing with the fearless faith like Mary's. It's you, it's me, reader, it's time we believe like Mary did. 

Poetry Devotion: Where is Jesus After My "Jesus High"?

The light sneaks-

peaks through the shutters.

soothing is the lull of passerbys

and plates-clank, clanking and

the swoop of a spoon, my spoon 

bringing the warms of soup

the heart of friends 

knitting closer

joys of laughter-

of You!

filling the silence

resounding in speech 

in utterance

this, this is a piece-

a piece of what is to come

and I battle for it to stay

to taste of Your presence

letting not the darkness come

for You are here, and I am 

unashamed

throwing back my head in joyous song

but, Oh, how You love me

and her, and we in this

moment, so close and pure in heart

I sing to You, and Oh, how You sing

to me, so thunderous and clear

but soon the darkness finds me

and tempts me to fall away

away from light and choruses

in depths of sorrow-through

I reach for you, I do, Your hand I fear

should reject. Oh, where are You, my Lord

I see You and hide, 

my lips have fallen silent,

my soul so closed and needy

I feel the grimy mold, rust

and broken glass

but I cannot feel You near me-

perhaps my soul closed off

Where, Oh, where have You gone? Can you 

see me when I hide? I trust Your love is

never failing

when I'm there, there with You 

when I stand

but now, Oh Lord, who could love? 

Where are You-I plead

      Just a few hours ago, I had lunch with a friend back home. She is one of those people who leave you feeling the presence of Jesus. Her heart is so knitted to Jesus, it's inspiring, and I feel privileged to "do life" with her. Each time we get the chance to have lunch, grab coffee or whatever time allows for, our talks always center around Jesus. She is my accountability, my friend, and part of my community. I am always thankful for sweet times with her. 

    Together we share our joys and our sorrows and I always leave feeling like Jesus is right there with me. He feels so near. I often leave and crank-up praise music and sing at the top of my lungs thankful for Jesus's faithfulness in my friend and her guidance and support. My heart is full, my joys seem gone forever, and I feel as if nothing can bring me down or tear me away from Jesus. 

    We all have these moments in our walk with Jesus. Even if you're not walking with Jesus, we all have people or times in our lives when joy is easy. Anther perfect example is camp. Who doesn't love a good ole summer camp. Whether the camp you have been to was affiliated with a religion or not, there's just something about camp that (hopefully) sends us home feeling completely joyful. We spend our time there apart from reality. We play sports, we meet new friends, we laugh, we stay up all night, we talk about encounters with the opposite sex, we do everything outside of our "norm" and something about that is freeing and fills us with joy. We forget we have troubles waiting for us back home. And no, I don't mean to be a pessimist, but I have made a promise to be honest. The honest truth is, we come back home and our troubles face us again. Soon enough our, "Jesus high" and feeling so close to Jesus is gone and we are forced back into the reality of our own sinful downfalls. 

This happens every time, everyday.  

When I'm that kind of joyful, it's easy to feel the presence of Jesus, yes but it's also easy to realize He wants me in His presence, too. Take my lunch this afternoon for example, I left the restaurant ready to stand before Jesus as if nothing could tempt we away from His presence. Sin, psh, it ain't no thing. 

Yeah, right. Sin is a reality. It's our reality. But, here's the BEST NEWS, Jesus isn't just with you when joy is easy, He is with you when joy is tough, too. 

This also raises a question in my mind about where Jesus is when I don't feel in His presence. Where is He when I sin? Where is He when I am having a rough day? Where is God when I am far from Him?

Simple answer and covers it all: He is WITH you. 

Remember that time you walked into elementary school? He was with you. Remember that time you forgot your homework for the first time? He was with you. Remember the time you caught your first fish? He was with you. Remember that time you and your boyfriend/girlfriend took things a little too far? He was with you. Remember that time our grandpa passed away? He was with you, and guess what. He still is. 

This is the best thing about Jesus. He is the same across the board from believer to non believer. Jesus is with you, loving you, caring for you, watching over you, pursuing you. From the time you were born until the day you will take your very last breath, He is with you. 

My point is, don't be ashamed, my friends. Jesus knows your reality. He knows you will fall away, turn away, and reject Him. He still loves you. Don't let the enemy tell you that Jesus only wants to be with you when you've got all the joy in the world. His presence is with you always, until the end of time. Fight to remember that and to see Him there, because, well... 

HE IS!

Poetry Devotion: Why Our Salvation Should Send Us Into Battle

Here is my heart,

I see it Father, it's wounds are healed

many mending

but each is loved, battled for victory

and stolen away to You

What Joy! I bask, here

in this thought- in Your presence

and consider how merciful and mighty

is Your name, the butterfly eruption from my heart

Father, when I speaketh Your words from a redeemed

soul and dirty lips, for all that is in me, is unchained

all that fuels me-is joy 

inexpressible as the hope I clutch to

when the leaves above me color and lose their luster

fall to the ground and rot

Oh, Lord that was my fate!

Such destiny I deserve-

but You, Father, You caught me

And I shall fall no more without Your guiding hand

But, Father, my grateful heart is heavy-ed 

sore and turmoiled

the fallen are many and I am just one

a broken heart, Father

it lies within me, should I not run 

beneath the trees, bringing out Your hand to catch them

for they, I love, I cherish

If I must run for all my days, catching leaves as they fall, so be it

Sustain me, grant me support in my soles

Let me rest that those far beyond my grasp are 

not beyond yours

for Your strength endures and Your breath revives

Open my eyes that I may see the falling, open my ears

so that I may hear their cries and remember

My own, before I was captured in You

     How many days go by that you don't consider your salvation? Better yet, do you even remember the last time you let the realization that you were once dead and now are alive all because of Jesus, the blameless, spotless, pure, righteous Son of God died in your place? Look at all you have overcome! If you can't think of anything the least you can say is that you've overcome death itself. Wait, that was too nonchalant. Let me put it this way:

YOU, yes, YOU deserved to death. BUT, Jesus intervened, He stepped in front of your bullet, He infected Himself with the deadliest of disease, HE TOOK YOUR PLACE. You are ALIVE because of Jesus. 

Many of you may be saying," I've heard this message a million times, I get it." Well, I challenge you with this: What are you doing about it?

Because if you're anything like me, if the thought crosses my mind on a Sunday morning or a Wednesday night I shoot up a thank-you-card-like prayer to God. "Hey, God, thanks for saving my life." But, it rarely rocks my boat when I leave that place of worship. A special song may come on and my heart, mind, mouth , and everything in me is praising and bursting with thoughts of acclamation saying "Yes! Jesus, You are wonderful and mighty! You saved me because I can't save myself! You rescued me from the pits of Hell!" And in that moment, there is no greater feeling, it's when I leave that place that my joyful, proclaiming heart becomes quiet. 

The truth of the matter is, the gospel saves. It saved me, maybe it's saved you, too. It's the only way, my friends, to life. It's the only way that I can endure hardships. It's the only way I can truly love, and serve others. It's the only way that I don't have to spend eternity breaking my back with blistered, charred skin and never a day of rest....

We've heard it all before, folks. But, when will we grasp the message enough as believers so much so that it sends us to our knees before the Lord begging Him for a commission to save people who are destined for Hell. I know, you know, we all know people in our lives that are. 

I get it, you may think this is harsh. I admit, yes it is. But it's the truth. Just like Heaven is for real, Hell is for real, too. And few of us live with this mindset. Our hearts should break over those who are in desperate need of a Savior. Remember yourself, your own salvation. Dwell on the freedoms you have found in Jesus alone and let it break your heart for the ones you know who are still living in chains. 

Lastly, we are all missionaries. Often times I considered only those who travel and uproot their lives to live in a foreign country to be missionaries and rarely considered myself a missionary. But, God has shown me that I have been placed in my mission field. You want to know where is it is? It lies in every step that I take in every moment of my day I am walking my mission field. Jesus has not called us to sit around and thank Him for our salvation. We are to thank Him and use it as fuel to our feet to get out there in the world, in the darkness and find those people who God has broken our hearts over. We are all missionaries, active hands and feet of Jesus. He moves and works through His people. 

The time is now. Go and be warriors of Jesus. Fight for hearts as Jesus fought for yours and let Jesus use you to further His kingdom. 

"But the Lord said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a child.' I have put words into your mouth. You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the Lord.
Then the Lord reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me," Now, I have put my words in your mouth. See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot, to build and to plant."
Jeremiah 1:7-10

Poetry Devotion: Whatever the Cost

What cost shall it take,
Oh, Lord
to stand where you have called
vast, expansive-
sweltering unknown
to guide me with a pillar-
a cross of mounted joy
to bring broken hearts
burdens and remnants
of hushed pasts and presents
and futures
to your feet
the dirty to be
washed
the shattered to be
pieced
and whole again

me-
that is me, Oh,
Lord
me-
fallen and displaced
filled with pits and hallows
dare not send me out
for the world deserves a wretch
a storm drain that is
me-

my lips and tongue
my hands and feet
Lord!
you want them not
not for the pillar of grace and glory
that is you

and still You beckon
reach out with open hands
take hold and walk along
feeding my bones,
words to speak

a task for which I stop
for nothing
a cost
dare I say
beyond boarders


Deep-rooted in my college town, I am in some ways immune to the ongoing football season hype. Our team has been on a roll this season and the atmosphere around campus is undeniably charged with excitement. And now, well into the season, it never ceases to amaze just how much people involve football into their lives.
Don't get me wrong, I was blessed to be born and raised on southern time and by golly, you better believe that I grew up watching, knowing, loving and breathing- in football whenever fall rolled around each year. But, living amongst the college atmosphere first hand, I am amazed at the cost by which students would pay and the things students would do for one football ticket.
With a nationally ranked football team the hype is overwhelming. Students have been camped out for weeks. Yes, you read that right, weeks. Students have set up tents and started Google documents to make sure all shifts are filled just for a ticket to the big game this weekend. And this, friends, is the second game where students were camped out around the stadium. All. The. Way. Around. Beyond camping, I was chatting with a good friend the other day who casually shared with me that because he was unable to get a ticket to this weekend's game, he was going to sneak into the game.

" ___ from my math class did it for the Georgia game and he said it was no trouble at all."

Wait a minute. He is willing to risk embarrassment and possibly being arrest just for the sake of a football game? I couldn't believe my ears. Is a football game really worth the cost?

Hey, maybe to you it is. Maybe football is that important to you. But, hear me out for a second...
That football game lasts 3-3.5 hours-tops. That's it.

I'm not here pointing fingers, I'm guilty, too. I am right there with you, worried about how to get tickets, when to get tickets, planning my day around going to get the tickets. I get it! However, Jesus has shown me something else. It's really important, listen up.

Jesus showed me that the cost, effort and time I put into a football game greatly over shadows the cost, effort and time I put into following Him. He showed me that more than likely, I am more willing to risk being embarrassed for trying to sneak into a football game than I am about trying to share the gospel with someone I feel Jesus has called me to share with. Ultimately, I had to examine my heart with this question:

At what cost am I willing to follow Jesus?

I encourage you to think about this. If you're like me, you're willing to do a lot more for this world and the people and things in it than you are for the man who died on a cross, naked, bleeding, publicly humiliated to save you. When it comes to Jesus we shrink back. We don't share when we should. We agree when we shouldn't. And we miss out on all God has for us because we would rather get into a football game than get closer to our Savior.

Here's something to help. It's simple, easy and quick. Continue to ask yourself that question... but most importantly remember at what Jesus did for you. If He can be beaten and crucified for you, what can you do for Him? Because the reward you will receive doesn't just last 3-3.5 hours.....
                                                                   it lasts forever.


" I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength that he considered me faithful, appointing me to his service." 1 Timothy 1:12

Poetry Deovtion: What God Calls Me When I Sin?

Shackled

--2 Timothy 1: 16b

I turn my face from you, oh Lord

Ashamed at what I bare

In You my heart belongs

My lips and words praise Your name

But my shackles remain many

My soul is free, my ransom paid

Your blood cleansing

And refreshing

 But these shackles

Still remain

When I walk this life

Baring such weight on my limbs

Am I worthy to walk in Your name?

Some will fall, break against the ground

Ringing out in victory

Yet in my weakness-some

Still remain

Will you call me, Yours

Then

Shackled and wandering

Before you

What does God think of our struggles?  Better yet, what does God think of our sin?

My “church” answer would be that God looks on us with compassion and grace. And He does. But, if I was honest with myself that’s not what my heart believes is true all the time. If I were being honest with myself I would have to say that God is ashamed of me when I sin.

I began to think about it like this: If God were my earthly father and I had just rebelled again his rules, would he still call me his child? Would I even be worthy of baring His name at that point?

Truly, no, I am not worthy.  And yet 2 Timothy tells us something completely different. Chapter one verse 16b reads, “… he often refreshed me and was not ashamed of my chains.” Take that in for a moment.

Even as saved, redeemed individuals, sin is inevitable and we will continue to fall short of God through sinful acts until we meet Him at Heaven’s gates. We are shackled, “chained” to sin and it is by grace that we can approach God for forgiveness. But, it goes further than that. God doesn’t just claim us at His feet, He claims us in our chains, too.

 This is wonderful news.

Even in our yuck, our struggles that pull our heart away from God and cause our hearts to rebel from God, He is still calling us HIS child. He does not pull back and turn away from us when we turn away from Him. He is still proudly proclaiming our name, and desiring to fill us with the right things.

“You are MY child, this is MY child”

God doesn’t deny us because we are struggling. He is unashamed of us always. Even in the midst of our doubt, wandering, our sin the Lord fights to refresh us, to strengthen us and to break our chains one by one.

Balloons

White knuckled around balloon strings

thundering, drumming veins

"Release them" 

He beckons

a quivering lip- warm-backed eyes

a setting sun behind

a rising before

 release

first the gray- biting in memory

to a fire pit black

released

sinking 

gripping green grass

life itself

spitting out pride,

hopes and dreams

submission

Nothing in my Hands

Consider the cost, Lord-

rags for robes- dirtied hands

for a clean soul

Hands that curse

and push away-rebel

what can You make of these

to pardon or use for 

Love?

Never Separated

It had been a whole month since my feet had sunk into the prickly grass in my front yard at home. When I headed off to college, I swore I wouldn’t come home until October. But leave it to reality to send coughs, sneezes and dark circles under my eyes to hear home call me home much sooner.
I can say now, after going home, it was the medicine I needed. It felt natural to cruise into the circular in front of my house, and fall to my knees as my beloved Boykin Spaniel, Gracie  came sprinting towards me much like she did most every day of my high school career.

Home felt great.  I fell right back into my routine. I took off my shoes in the same spot and immediately reached for the refrigerator door for a snack. My mom and I chit-chatted, giggled, and eventually decided to head to the mall(our favorite bonding spot).

The rest of the weekend followed suit; cuddles with Gracie on Saturday night, a Krispy Kreme visit and dinner with G’an’mama and a friend.  But, a little under seventy-two hours races by and soon enough I found myself waking up on Sunday morning. I drug myself from my bed and headed to the kitchen for a full on Daddy-made breakfast: eggs, bacon, grits, the whole nine yards.  How could I leave? Home is indeed where my heart is.

Sure enough, my time to pack up and leave came again. I loaded up my things, kissed my family and Gracie goodbye and I was on my way back to the upstate. As I drove on the interstate, tears pouring down my cheeks, I thought to myself, “ Two hours separates me from my home, my family, my comfort and my source of love and support. It separates me from the place I feel like I belong. “

Looking back on this moment, I’m amazed at the realization that it’s not hours that separate two people but merely moments. Literally, one moment I was in the arms of my Momma and Daddy and the next I was out the door- gone. All it takes is one tiny moment to separate, but it’s a moment that makes two hours seem like a world away.

Separation is something I’ve dealt with my entire life and never thought much of. Just think about it. The clothes I had when I was in middle school, the moment I gave them away or out-grew them I was separated from them. My Momma, when she went to the grocery store, shut the door to the garage and we were apart. Going away on camps or vacations, and one simple moment separated me from my house as I got in the car to travel away. When I was a baby, I more than likely cried when my Daddy dropped me off for nursery at church because the moment he put me down, I  knew we were going to be separated.

We spend our whole lives dealing with separation, but become so used to that choose not to feel it. And then you go to college and you feel separated from everything you have ever known because well, you are.

This realization was a bit upsetting to me, driving down the interstate bawling my eyes out wondering where in the world I was going to get some consistency. Not even my family could always be there with me. Heck, no one was even there with me in the car… right?

Wrong. How silly I was to forget who lives inside of my heart and pulses throughout my entirety. My Savior, my Lord, my redeemer, He was there. He brought me home to get attached and be ripped apart again from leaving to bring me closer to Him. Isn’t it funny how God works like that?

Soon enough, the Lord was filling my mind with this entire message that He, and only He, is the constant in my life. No matter what vacation I’m on, what class I’m in, no matter what football game, dinner date, car ride, workout…anywhere He is with me, always. My hardest days. My loneliest days. My happiest day. My sick days. I always have Him living inside of me.

Don’t miss this either: God is not a sedentary in our hearts. He moves, works , pulses through us every moment of everyday. He is loving us, comforting us, longing to hang out with us, longing to talk to us through His word, protecting, healing, actively moving in and through us.

What comfort! What joy! My God will never fail me, nor leave me out to dry(or in my case bawling on an interstate) because my God is faithful and everything good. Because of this truth, we find our source of comfort and belonging. Essentially, He is our “home”. It just so happens that it’s because we give Jesus a home in our hearts and lives that we will always feel “at home” no matter where we may be.


It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”
 Deuteronomy 31:8

Open Heart Surgery

I lay me down beneath thee Lord-

My heart an open wound.

Gnarled and debris-ed 

filled- gravel and shards

Barely beating for You

Untouchable of flesh 

yet not from light

It melts

Grain by grain- glass by glass

Washing what was 

In blood-

Redeemed

Wandering

Simply to this cross-
I am clinging for nothing else
sufices, the wind and the
water rise with deep power
and blur what lies ahead
so many faces I see
the sounds are many I hear
Father, they are apart from you.
Ring out
before my ears-  shake my
drum until it bursts, splinter
me with the cross that I may bear
its markings
may it never fall from
my shoulders- I will stumble,
yes. but a servant I am, a quitter You
made me not, until
Glory when I shall
collapse- breathless and prostrate
at Your feet
lead mine to seek Yours
our prints becoming one

New Bench Discoveries

The frog, it bellows loudly
come dusk- the firefly
its glow is here-is there
and crickets they mur
and echo among the concrete
solid and traveled. such stories
it should tell through choruses
of nature nestled
in patches-cracks
and hallows. many years
have heard but an eye has never seen
the sounds they come
from many
intwined and twittled
a symphony of one

A Prayer for Morgan

Father will you take us
against Your chest
we cannot walk alone
let not our mouths be false and empty
and our hands Your only home-
take us
against your chest
carry us
each in one arm-
safe and warm
loved and satisfied
that we may
hold each other
against Your chest

A Stolen Life

Let me be a shadow-

Luring in love and lavishly pure

Build me and fold

Cut and combine me

Tedious and taxing

Until I, on this dim gravel spot

Shall be your image-

A shadow of Your light

The Man Part Six: Bosom

Can I rest here,

I plead,

in the bosom

of this-

perhaps I can

nuzzle further-

if you allow.

The fingertips along 

my back, tightly wound

and white- knuckled

are sweaty and slowly slipping

Do not let me go! I shout

into your bosom's base

I sob but do not feel 

the tears-  attached they stay

to your skin,

where shall they go-

if the hands should let

me go

my mind feels this is right

that time is long 

overdue

but my heart it

 shutters and heaves

and collides with the past, 

I know this bosom

I rest has made me

well and strong- this little girl, 

never planned to be, 

has become much,

you see, 

arrived with a beating drum

that never ceased to play

booming

ba-rum-ba-rum

the melody that grew her,

shaped her like clay

and moved her feet, 

like sea grass along the Atlantic shore,

to dance

a marvelous and lasting dance

she shall never droop, it seems

or be withered through and through

a rose among the forest shadows

above them, she sways

flitted and flittered

her self reaches

far beyond these

soft bosom walls

He who planned has not 

mistaken

time alarms, hands release

beyond the bosom,

He calls

I, The Man, must

go

The Man Pt 5: Chains

The Man Part Five: Chains

My feet no longer shall drag beneath me-
Release these roots that have grown me from the dirt
And though my toes forever be filthy- bent- and rotten
The flesh I have come to loathe- take it
Release me from this ditch- I weep-
A bent knee is the least of me, oh Father, let me dance
As tears and sweat fall together- never returning to where they fall
But even in the whistle of my hair- music for all to hear- see me
Set around me an angry crowd, let them spit and shout- rhythm to my feet
Join me then, take my hand- in stride we must go
Bind me in your hand, attach my feet to yours- for we shall dance together
Darkness chains me no more-

Poetry Devotion Series Sneak-Peek

The World Has a Grip
Poetry Devotion Series:
 "The Man Part Three: Concrete Treasures"

Poem Focus Lines: 1-7 & 16-29

The sparkles. The city. The likes. The man. The award. The money. The woman. The look. The grade. The applause.
The world... What does it want from you?
Perhaps the more important question is, what do YOU want from the WORLD? Now, I ask this question to myself and the first thing that pops into my head is my ever-growing graduation wish list. It grows longer and longer as I begin to want more and more. I see this on her and oh, I just have to have it. Or all the cool university students have... And I have to have that, too. The world and everyone and everything in it seems to tell me that my wants are needs. I don't want it all, I need it all. Makes sense, right?
We all have our desires, our wants from the world. They are practically inevitable because everyday of our lives the world says be skinnier, be prettier, be smarter, be faster, be more popular and only THEN will you find happiness. So, we lower our heads, grab some gear and begin to "tunnel". We dig through the dirt much like "worms", inching painstakingly up towards "oxygen" or in our case, our desire(though the world makes it seem as essential as oxygen). We spend hours, days, months, whatever it takes to get there all the while thinking of the happiness and joy it will bring in the end.
Whether the journey was long or short, if we tunnel hard enough, we will get there.
We break through the dirt, we achieve our goal and grab onto it like it was the only floaty in a raging sea. But the float is heavy, the oxygen is heavy, our achieved desire is not filling us with the joy we expected. Why do we feel like there is always something more?
We sling it across our bodies and carry on back into the dirt and tunnel again. And again, and again. Where is the fulfillment? Where is the rest? I hate to tell you, but the world never stops calling. It never says, " That's enough! Here is pleasure. Here is happiness!" Instead it shouts, " More, more! You must get more, you must do more!" I don't care who you are, the world always shouts, "More!!" It's a never ending cycle of momentary pleasure and perseverance to achieve something that is never good enough .
Exhausted yet? I know I am and it's not because I worked out this morning. It's because I'm realizing the grip the world has on me. My arms are tired from tunneling, I need rest.
You may be asking, what's the point in trying? My answer is simple: stop trying. The world will never please you and you will never please the world. Stop trying! There's this man I heard of who can help. His name is Jesus and I hear He wants people like you and me. Believe it or not, but He likes you as you are- you are more than enough. You don't need to change who you are, hide what you've done, or clean up yourself- He just wants you to throw your shovel, lift you hands, and say "I can't take it anymore! Help me!". You don't have to dig anymore! He will dig after you until He reaches you. He won't stop, He won't tire, He will not give up on you. And when He comes, latch into Him as He climbs you out of the dirt and into the light of TRUE fulfillment. (It can only be found in Him, you'll see.)
My friends, your rescuer has come. In light of that, lets begin to look deeper into our hearts and lives to better understand the depth of our brokenness and our continuing need to be rescued.

Verse of Focus: " Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." Romans 12:2

The Man Part Four: Kyzer

Can you hear me?
I say to you again-
Can you hear me,
Are you looking my way?

Across the table
I caught a glimpse of you
In the lenses of my beholder

For I have never seen your eyes
Your hair slicked and greasy-
Cowlicked
Your toes and the grime
Between them-
If it is there

They are all unknown to me
Behind the glossy
Paper and humming screen
So physical and flat-
A tease

Who are you?
I often ask myself,
A question you cannot answer
Your mouth has fallen silent
Your soul has soured away

And yet-
I want to know you!
Yelling, I come too late
Left to gather the pieces-
Alone
I dare not ask too much

In anguish
I see you
Leaking out from eyes
And I watch you there-
But never reach to catch

I find you in his face
Sometimes
Those moments...so sweet
So sour
But never reach to touch

For all I know of you-
I feel you all around
Your presence is upon me
Like a breath of fresh dew-
I look out at him
And there is where you are,
Thriving in his heart-
Teaching it how to love,
Making it soft again.
Glowing in his eyes
As he surveys
Ripples across the lake

And I know that you are there
Alive in these moments-
And so we meet again, my friend,
This is who you are.

And for now until the end of time
I feel sure-
This is where you'll stay

Concrete Treasure, The Man Pt. 3

The Man Part Three: Concrete Treasure

1But the truth is
I sprung from the dirt.
  drilling among worm holes
Tunneling towards the air

5I could taste it
Up through my root
Twinkling in my soul
 Content, I lingered in the grime

I remember when I reached
10The oxygen I so dearly yearned for,
How thick and heavy it felt

I was weak
Yet I grew, grew, and grew
Like someone pulling an unending string
15I sprouted
 leafed
And budded

Reaching above my fellows
Shadowed by many more

20I remember the day I bloomed
Watching myself burst
In a color I could not name
Warmth welcomed me
 I lapped it up like a savage dog

25But I am a rose
Identified by self
Perfectly petaled
Protected by thorns and
I am delightfully looked upon
30Youth is of my favor
My stem is full of water
My leaves are vibrant
Not dulled in sage


I remember the day,
35That terrible and long ago day,
When the stem I so proudly
Waved upon, became bent
And broken through

So brutal and abrupt
40At once my stem was
Cut
My livelihood, my goo,
it all came oozing out

Of all the rest
45My pride, my pride
Boasted I was chosen

I remember the gust of wind
That rattled and ripped
Wrinkling all my petals
 50Large, beige, thick masses
They passed me all about
They ruffled, they prodded, they tore
 piece by piece.

In silence I cooperated
55No thorns could help me now
Not much of me was left
Plummeting to the ground
Laid my soul to rest
Released and sent to dry

60What purpose did I have?
A mangled rose
On a concrete slab

I remember then, just
moments before the end
65New mass of beige
Cupped me in among its
Stringy masses

They lifted up my petals
Enforced them so they'd stay
70My stem was placed in water
Refreshment soon revived

So who would want a rose,
So mangled through and through?
I'll never forget the Beige that said


75I do