Poetry Devotion: Where is Jesus After My "Jesus High"?

The light sneaks-

peaks through the shutters.

soothing is the lull of passerbys

and plates-clank, clanking and

the swoop of a spoon, my spoon 

bringing the warms of soup

the heart of friends 

knitting closer

joys of laughter-

of You!

filling the silence

resounding in speech 

in utterance

this, this is a piece-

a piece of what is to come

and I battle for it to stay

to taste of Your presence

letting not the darkness come

for You are here, and I am 

unashamed

throwing back my head in joyous song

but, Oh, how You love me

and her, and we in this

moment, so close and pure in heart

I sing to You, and Oh, how You sing

to me, so thunderous and clear

but soon the darkness finds me

and tempts me to fall away

away from light and choruses

in depths of sorrow-through

I reach for you, I do, Your hand I fear

should reject. Oh, where are You, my Lord

I see You and hide, 

my lips have fallen silent,

my soul so closed and needy

I feel the grimy mold, rust

and broken glass

but I cannot feel You near me-

perhaps my soul closed off

Where, Oh, where have You gone? Can you 

see me when I hide? I trust Your love is

never failing

when I'm there, there with You 

when I stand

but now, Oh Lord, who could love? 

Where are You-I plead

      Just a few hours ago, I had lunch with a friend back home. She is one of those people who leave you feeling the presence of Jesus. Her heart is so knitted to Jesus, it's inspiring, and I feel privileged to "do life" with her. Each time we get the chance to have lunch, grab coffee or whatever time allows for, our talks always center around Jesus. She is my accountability, my friend, and part of my community. I am always thankful for sweet times with her. 

    Together we share our joys and our sorrows and I always leave feeling like Jesus is right there with me. He feels so near. I often leave and crank-up praise music and sing at the top of my lungs thankful for Jesus's faithfulness in my friend and her guidance and support. My heart is full, my joys seem gone forever, and I feel as if nothing can bring me down or tear me away from Jesus. 

    We all have these moments in our walk with Jesus. Even if you're not walking with Jesus, we all have people or times in our lives when joy is easy. Anther perfect example is camp. Who doesn't love a good ole summer camp. Whether the camp you have been to was affiliated with a religion or not, there's just something about camp that (hopefully) sends us home feeling completely joyful. We spend our time there apart from reality. We play sports, we meet new friends, we laugh, we stay up all night, we talk about encounters with the opposite sex, we do everything outside of our "norm" and something about that is freeing and fills us with joy. We forget we have troubles waiting for us back home. And no, I don't mean to be a pessimist, but I have made a promise to be honest. The honest truth is, we come back home and our troubles face us again. Soon enough our, "Jesus high" and feeling so close to Jesus is gone and we are forced back into the reality of our own sinful downfalls. 

This happens every time, everyday.  

When I'm that kind of joyful, it's easy to feel the presence of Jesus, yes but it's also easy to realize He wants me in His presence, too. Take my lunch this afternoon for example, I left the restaurant ready to stand before Jesus as if nothing could tempt we away from His presence. Sin, psh, it ain't no thing. 

Yeah, right. Sin is a reality. It's our reality. But, here's the BEST NEWS, Jesus isn't just with you when joy is easy, He is with you when joy is tough, too. 

This also raises a question in my mind about where Jesus is when I don't feel in His presence. Where is He when I sin? Where is He when I am having a rough day? Where is God when I am far from Him?

Simple answer and covers it all: He is WITH you. 

Remember that time you walked into elementary school? He was with you. Remember that time you forgot your homework for the first time? He was with you. Remember the time you caught your first fish? He was with you. Remember that time you and your boyfriend/girlfriend took things a little too far? He was with you. Remember that time our grandpa passed away? He was with you, and guess what. He still is. 

This is the best thing about Jesus. He is the same across the board from believer to non believer. Jesus is with you, loving you, caring for you, watching over you, pursuing you. From the time you were born until the day you will take your very last breath, He is with you. 

My point is, don't be ashamed, my friends. Jesus knows your reality. He knows you will fall away, turn away, and reject Him. He still loves you. Don't let the enemy tell you that Jesus only wants to be with you when you've got all the joy in the world. His presence is with you always, until the end of time. Fight to remember that and to see Him there, because, well... 

HE IS!

Poetry Devotion: Why Our Salvation Should Send Us Into Battle

Here is my heart,

I see it Father, it's wounds are healed

many mending

but each is loved, battled for victory

and stolen away to You

What Joy! I bask, here

in this thought- in Your presence

and consider how merciful and mighty

is Your name, the butterfly eruption from my heart

Father, when I speaketh Your words from a redeemed

soul and dirty lips, for all that is in me, is unchained

all that fuels me-is joy 

inexpressible as the hope I clutch to

when the leaves above me color and lose their luster

fall to the ground and rot

Oh, Lord that was my fate!

Such destiny I deserve-

but You, Father, You caught me

And I shall fall no more without Your guiding hand

But, Father, my grateful heart is heavy-ed 

sore and turmoiled

the fallen are many and I am just one

a broken heart, Father

it lies within me, should I not run 

beneath the trees, bringing out Your hand to catch them

for they, I love, I cherish

If I must run for all my days, catching leaves as they fall, so be it

Sustain me, grant me support in my soles

Let me rest that those far beyond my grasp are 

not beyond yours

for Your strength endures and Your breath revives

Open my eyes that I may see the falling, open my ears

so that I may hear their cries and remember

My own, before I was captured in You

     How many days go by that you don't consider your salvation? Better yet, do you even remember the last time you let the realization that you were once dead and now are alive all because of Jesus, the blameless, spotless, pure, righteous Son of God died in your place? Look at all you have overcome! If you can't think of anything the least you can say is that you've overcome death itself. Wait, that was too nonchalant. Let me put it this way:

YOU, yes, YOU deserved to death. BUT, Jesus intervened, He stepped in front of your bullet, He infected Himself with the deadliest of disease, HE TOOK YOUR PLACE. You are ALIVE because of Jesus. 

Many of you may be saying," I've heard this message a million times, I get it." Well, I challenge you with this: What are you doing about it?

Because if you're anything like me, if the thought crosses my mind on a Sunday morning or a Wednesday night I shoot up a thank-you-card-like prayer to God. "Hey, God, thanks for saving my life." But, it rarely rocks my boat when I leave that place of worship. A special song may come on and my heart, mind, mouth , and everything in me is praising and bursting with thoughts of acclamation saying "Yes! Jesus, You are wonderful and mighty! You saved me because I can't save myself! You rescued me from the pits of Hell!" And in that moment, there is no greater feeling, it's when I leave that place that my joyful, proclaiming heart becomes quiet. 

The truth of the matter is, the gospel saves. It saved me, maybe it's saved you, too. It's the only way, my friends, to life. It's the only way that I can endure hardships. It's the only way I can truly love, and serve others. It's the only way that I don't have to spend eternity breaking my back with blistered, charred skin and never a day of rest....

We've heard it all before, folks. But, when will we grasp the message enough as believers so much so that it sends us to our knees before the Lord begging Him for a commission to save people who are destined for Hell. I know, you know, we all know people in our lives that are. 

I get it, you may think this is harsh. I admit, yes it is. But it's the truth. Just like Heaven is for real, Hell is for real, too. And few of us live with this mindset. Our hearts should break over those who are in desperate need of a Savior. Remember yourself, your own salvation. Dwell on the freedoms you have found in Jesus alone and let it break your heart for the ones you know who are still living in chains. 

Lastly, we are all missionaries. Often times I considered only those who travel and uproot their lives to live in a foreign country to be missionaries and rarely considered myself a missionary. But, God has shown me that I have been placed in my mission field. You want to know where is it is? It lies in every step that I take in every moment of my day I am walking my mission field. Jesus has not called us to sit around and thank Him for our salvation. We are to thank Him and use it as fuel to our feet to get out there in the world, in the darkness and find those people who God has broken our hearts over. We are all missionaries, active hands and feet of Jesus. He moves and works through His people. 

The time is now. Go and be warriors of Jesus. Fight for hearts as Jesus fought for yours and let Jesus use you to further His kingdom. 

"But the Lord said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a child.' I have put words into your mouth. You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the Lord.
Then the Lord reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me," Now, I have put my words in your mouth. See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot, to build and to plant."
Jeremiah 1:7-10

Poetry Devotion: Whatever the Cost

What cost shall it take,
Oh, Lord
to stand where you have called
vast, expansive-
sweltering unknown
to guide me with a pillar-
a cross of mounted joy
to bring broken hearts
burdens and remnants
of hushed pasts and presents
and futures
to your feet
the dirty to be
washed
the shattered to be
pieced
and whole again

me-
that is me, Oh,
Lord
me-
fallen and displaced
filled with pits and hallows
dare not send me out
for the world deserves a wretch
a storm drain that is
me-

my lips and tongue
my hands and feet
Lord!
you want them not
not for the pillar of grace and glory
that is you

and still You beckon
reach out with open hands
take hold and walk along
feeding my bones,
words to speak

a task for which I stop
for nothing
a cost
dare I say
beyond boarders


Deep-rooted in my college town, I am in some ways immune to the ongoing football season hype. Our team has been on a roll this season and the atmosphere around campus is undeniably charged with excitement. And now, well into the season, it never ceases to amaze just how much people involve football into their lives.
Don't get me wrong, I was blessed to be born and raised on southern time and by golly, you better believe that I grew up watching, knowing, loving and breathing- in football whenever fall rolled around each year. But, living amongst the college atmosphere first hand, I am amazed at the cost by which students would pay and the things students would do for one football ticket.
With a nationally ranked football team the hype is overwhelming. Students have been camped out for weeks. Yes, you read that right, weeks. Students have set up tents and started Google documents to make sure all shifts are filled just for a ticket to the big game this weekend. And this, friends, is the second game where students were camped out around the stadium. All. The. Way. Around. Beyond camping, I was chatting with a good friend the other day who casually shared with me that because he was unable to get a ticket to this weekend's game, he was going to sneak into the game.

" ___ from my math class did it for the Georgia game and he said it was no trouble at all."

Wait a minute. He is willing to risk embarrassment and possibly being arrest just for the sake of a football game? I couldn't believe my ears. Is a football game really worth the cost?

Hey, maybe to you it is. Maybe football is that important to you. But, hear me out for a second...
That football game lasts 3-3.5 hours-tops. That's it.

I'm not here pointing fingers, I'm guilty, too. I am right there with you, worried about how to get tickets, when to get tickets, planning my day around going to get the tickets. I get it! However, Jesus has shown me something else. It's really important, listen up.

Jesus showed me that the cost, effort and time I put into a football game greatly over shadows the cost, effort and time I put into following Him. He showed me that more than likely, I am more willing to risk being embarrassed for trying to sneak into a football game than I am about trying to share the gospel with someone I feel Jesus has called me to share with. Ultimately, I had to examine my heart with this question:

At what cost am I willing to follow Jesus?

I encourage you to think about this. If you're like me, you're willing to do a lot more for this world and the people and things in it than you are for the man who died on a cross, naked, bleeding, publicly humiliated to save you. When it comes to Jesus we shrink back. We don't share when we should. We agree when we shouldn't. And we miss out on all God has for us because we would rather get into a football game than get closer to our Savior.

Here's something to help. It's simple, easy and quick. Continue to ask yourself that question... but most importantly remember at what Jesus did for you. If He can be beaten and crucified for you, what can you do for Him? Because the reward you will receive doesn't just last 3-3.5 hours.....
                                                                   it lasts forever.


" I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength that he considered me faithful, appointing me to his service." 1 Timothy 1:12

Poetry Deovtion: What God Calls Me When I Sin?

Shackled

--2 Timothy 1: 16b

I turn my face from you, oh Lord

Ashamed at what I bare

In You my heart belongs

My lips and words praise Your name

But my shackles remain many

My soul is free, my ransom paid

Your blood cleansing

And refreshing

 But these shackles

Still remain

When I walk this life

Baring such weight on my limbs

Am I worthy to walk in Your name?

Some will fall, break against the ground

Ringing out in victory

Yet in my weakness-some

Still remain

Will you call me, Yours

Then

Shackled and wandering

Before you

What does God think of our struggles?  Better yet, what does God think of our sin?

My “church” answer would be that God looks on us with compassion and grace. And He does. But, if I was honest with myself that’s not what my heart believes is true all the time. If I were being honest with myself I would have to say that God is ashamed of me when I sin.

I began to think about it like this: If God were my earthly father and I had just rebelled again his rules, would he still call me his child? Would I even be worthy of baring His name at that point?

Truly, no, I am not worthy.  And yet 2 Timothy tells us something completely different. Chapter one verse 16b reads, “… he often refreshed me and was not ashamed of my chains.” Take that in for a moment.

Even as saved, redeemed individuals, sin is inevitable and we will continue to fall short of God through sinful acts until we meet Him at Heaven’s gates. We are shackled, “chained” to sin and it is by grace that we can approach God for forgiveness. But, it goes further than that. God doesn’t just claim us at His feet, He claims us in our chains, too.

 This is wonderful news.

Even in our yuck, our struggles that pull our heart away from God and cause our hearts to rebel from God, He is still calling us HIS child. He does not pull back and turn away from us when we turn away from Him. He is still proudly proclaiming our name, and desiring to fill us with the right things.

“You are MY child, this is MY child”

God doesn’t deny us because we are struggling. He is unashamed of us always. Even in the midst of our doubt, wandering, our sin the Lord fights to refresh us, to strengthen us and to break our chains one by one.

Balloons

White knuckled around balloon strings

thundering, drumming veins

"Release them" 

He beckons

a quivering lip- warm-backed eyes

a setting sun behind

a rising before

 release

first the gray- biting in memory

to a fire pit black

released

sinking 

gripping green grass

life itself

spitting out pride,

hopes and dreams

submission

Nothing in my Hands

Consider the cost, Lord-

rags for robes- dirtied hands

for a clean soul

Hands that curse

and push away-rebel

what can You make of these

to pardon or use for 

Love?

Never Separated

It had been a whole month since my feet had sunk into the prickly grass in my front yard at home. When I headed off to college, I swore I wouldn’t come home until October. But leave it to reality to send coughs, sneezes and dark circles under my eyes to hear home call me home much sooner.
I can say now, after going home, it was the medicine I needed. It felt natural to cruise into the circular in front of my house, and fall to my knees as my beloved Boykin Spaniel, Gracie  came sprinting towards me much like she did most every day of my high school career.

Home felt great.  I fell right back into my routine. I took off my shoes in the same spot and immediately reached for the refrigerator door for a snack. My mom and I chit-chatted, giggled, and eventually decided to head to the mall(our favorite bonding spot).

The rest of the weekend followed suit; cuddles with Gracie on Saturday night, a Krispy Kreme visit and dinner with G’an’mama and a friend.  But, a little under seventy-two hours races by and soon enough I found myself waking up on Sunday morning. I drug myself from my bed and headed to the kitchen for a full on Daddy-made breakfast: eggs, bacon, grits, the whole nine yards.  How could I leave? Home is indeed where my heart is.

Sure enough, my time to pack up and leave came again. I loaded up my things, kissed my family and Gracie goodbye and I was on my way back to the upstate. As I drove on the interstate, tears pouring down my cheeks, I thought to myself, “ Two hours separates me from my home, my family, my comfort and my source of love and support. It separates me from the place I feel like I belong. “

Looking back on this moment, I’m amazed at the realization that it’s not hours that separate two people but merely moments. Literally, one moment I was in the arms of my Momma and Daddy and the next I was out the door- gone. All it takes is one tiny moment to separate, but it’s a moment that makes two hours seem like a world away.

Separation is something I’ve dealt with my entire life and never thought much of. Just think about it. The clothes I had when I was in middle school, the moment I gave them away or out-grew them I was separated from them. My Momma, when she went to the grocery store, shut the door to the garage and we were apart. Going away on camps or vacations, and one simple moment separated me from my house as I got in the car to travel away. When I was a baby, I more than likely cried when my Daddy dropped me off for nursery at church because the moment he put me down, I  knew we were going to be separated.

We spend our whole lives dealing with separation, but become so used to that choose not to feel it. And then you go to college and you feel separated from everything you have ever known because well, you are.

This realization was a bit upsetting to me, driving down the interstate bawling my eyes out wondering where in the world I was going to get some consistency. Not even my family could always be there with me. Heck, no one was even there with me in the car… right?

Wrong. How silly I was to forget who lives inside of my heart and pulses throughout my entirety. My Savior, my Lord, my redeemer, He was there. He brought me home to get attached and be ripped apart again from leaving to bring me closer to Him. Isn’t it funny how God works like that?

Soon enough, the Lord was filling my mind with this entire message that He, and only He, is the constant in my life. No matter what vacation I’m on, what class I’m in, no matter what football game, dinner date, car ride, workout…anywhere He is with me, always. My hardest days. My loneliest days. My happiest day. My sick days. I always have Him living inside of me.

Don’t miss this either: God is not a sedentary in our hearts. He moves, works , pulses through us every moment of everyday. He is loving us, comforting us, longing to hang out with us, longing to talk to us through His word, protecting, healing, actively moving in and through us.

What comfort! What joy! My God will never fail me, nor leave me out to dry(or in my case bawling on an interstate) because my God is faithful and everything good. Because of this truth, we find our source of comfort and belonging. Essentially, He is our “home”. It just so happens that it’s because we give Jesus a home in our hearts and lives that we will always feel “at home” no matter where we may be.


It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”
 Deuteronomy 31:8