Insomnia

Insomnia is a gift sometimes. Take for instance last night as a good example where a night doomed to tossing and turning became a one of mental wandering. As I laid there on my back, squishing my eyes together, willing myself to "please fall asleep, please fall asleep" I realized I was fighting a win-less battle. Great... just what I needed.
So, accepting my defeat, I got up, flipped the radio on and began thumbing through an old magazine.
Thinking back on the next couple of moments I can't help but chuckle at the similarity it has to my earlier piece of prose, "Valentine's Day", but I can't hide the truth.
I guess you could say my increasing boredom from the magazine was easily swayed when David Guetta's top-chart song came seeping through the speakers. To say the very least- it captured my attention. It goes a little something like this "I can't win, I can't reign I will never win this game without you, without you, I am lost, I am vain I will never be the same without you, without you I can't rest, I can't fight, All I need is you and I without you, without you...I won't soar, I won't climb, If you're not here I'm paralyzed without you, without you, I can't look, I'm so blind I lost my heart, I lost my mind without you..."
I know you must be wondering why I could possibly want to dedicate an entire blog post to this over-played, cheesy, secular love song, but take a moment and reread the excerpt from the song. Then, take another moment and think about your attitude towards your daily walk with God. Should our love for Him not sound like this desperate need for Him everyday? Should we not be singing this love song to Him with the say we live? Because, it's right, are we not nothing without Him? I know I am.
In these late night moments, I was struck. Even after the song was over, I pulled up the lyrics on the Internet. Reading and rereading. God showed me something new each and every time I read it. He showed me that this love song is really all about Him. (maybe not the intention of the artist, but  for His purpose for me, it works) The line "If you're not here I'm paralyzed..."gave me chills. Thinking immediately about my very own life... how I think these things I do are getting me "somewhere in life". But, through the words of this song, God showed me that doing it for myself and by myself all accounts to nothing, literally running around like a chicken with its head cut off Sure, I may be physically going places, but accomplishing nothing. That's paralyzation. Unless I take-on life depending on God, I will forever be paralyzed in life, but with Him I can put my life into motion.
Thank goodness for insomnia, it was a gift last night- ending  a seemingly dreary  night in a quiet lullaby of prayerful whispers...."I will never make it by without you, Jesus...I'll lose my heart, I'll lose my mind, without you,Jesus...zzzzzzzzzzzz..."