Never Separated

It had been a whole month since my feet had sunk into the prickly grass in my front yard at home. When I headed off to college, I swore I wouldn’t come home until October. But leave it to reality to send coughs, sneezes and dark circles under my eyes to hear home call me home much sooner.
I can say now, after going home, it was the medicine I needed. It felt natural to cruise into the circular in front of my house, and fall to my knees as my beloved Boykin Spaniel, Gracie  came sprinting towards me much like she did most every day of my high school career.

Home felt great.  I fell right back into my routine. I took off my shoes in the same spot and immediately reached for the refrigerator door for a snack. My mom and I chit-chatted, giggled, and eventually decided to head to the mall(our favorite bonding spot).

The rest of the weekend followed suit; cuddles with Gracie on Saturday night, a Krispy Kreme visit and dinner with G’an’mama and a friend.  But, a little under seventy-two hours races by and soon enough I found myself waking up on Sunday morning. I drug myself from my bed and headed to the kitchen for a full on Daddy-made breakfast: eggs, bacon, grits, the whole nine yards.  How could I leave? Home is indeed where my heart is.

Sure enough, my time to pack up and leave came again. I loaded up my things, kissed my family and Gracie goodbye and I was on my way back to the upstate. As I drove on the interstate, tears pouring down my cheeks, I thought to myself, “ Two hours separates me from my home, my family, my comfort and my source of love and support. It separates me from the place I feel like I belong. “

Looking back on this moment, I’m amazed at the realization that it’s not hours that separate two people but merely moments. Literally, one moment I was in the arms of my Momma and Daddy and the next I was out the door- gone. All it takes is one tiny moment to separate, but it’s a moment that makes two hours seem like a world away.

Separation is something I’ve dealt with my entire life and never thought much of. Just think about it. The clothes I had when I was in middle school, the moment I gave them away or out-grew them I was separated from them. My Momma, when she went to the grocery store, shut the door to the garage and we were apart. Going away on camps or vacations, and one simple moment separated me from my house as I got in the car to travel away. When I was a baby, I more than likely cried when my Daddy dropped me off for nursery at church because the moment he put me down, I  knew we were going to be separated.

We spend our whole lives dealing with separation, but become so used to that choose not to feel it. And then you go to college and you feel separated from everything you have ever known because well, you are.

This realization was a bit upsetting to me, driving down the interstate bawling my eyes out wondering where in the world I was going to get some consistency. Not even my family could always be there with me. Heck, no one was even there with me in the car… right?

Wrong. How silly I was to forget who lives inside of my heart and pulses throughout my entirety. My Savior, my Lord, my redeemer, He was there. He brought me home to get attached and be ripped apart again from leaving to bring me closer to Him. Isn’t it funny how God works like that?

Soon enough, the Lord was filling my mind with this entire message that He, and only He, is the constant in my life. No matter what vacation I’m on, what class I’m in, no matter what football game, dinner date, car ride, workout…anywhere He is with me, always. My hardest days. My loneliest days. My happiest day. My sick days. I always have Him living inside of me.

Don’t miss this either: God is not a sedentary in our hearts. He moves, works , pulses through us every moment of everyday. He is loving us, comforting us, longing to hang out with us, longing to talk to us through His word, protecting, healing, actively moving in and through us.

What comfort! What joy! My God will never fail me, nor leave me out to dry(or in my case bawling on an interstate) because my God is faithful and everything good. Because of this truth, we find our source of comfort and belonging. Essentially, He is our “home”. It just so happens that it’s because we give Jesus a home in our hearts and lives that we will always feel “at home” no matter where we may be.


It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”
 Deuteronomy 31:8